Transcript

1: An ancient maps of Mars, based on the vague shapes seen in telescopes – named rivers and oceans and landmasses.
Caption: Then, in we came with telescopes. It was clear it wasn’t a star, but a planet, maybe like our own… Damn, how imaginations ran wild based on blurry shadows and smudges on a lens.

2: Pre-1900 books on mars are laid on a table, with titles such as “Speculative Biology of Native Martian Flora and Fauna” by Mitch, “Mars as The Abode of Life”, “The Mountains of Mars” by Talbotson, and “Das Gesicht Des Mars”.
Caption: But people are smart: we see the tiniest hint of a pattern, or the shadow of a clue, and the gears just spin and spin until we find something.
I mean… we were right! There was life on Mars… but we knew that… so deeply, based on nothing. It was a fantasy, just wishful thinking: “Oh, surely there wouldn’t be a whole other rock out there and it not have life on it.”
Then we start imagining what sort of animals lived there, what sort of civilization they had, and suddenly you’ve got maps with roads and cities.

3: An old-school illustration of 1870’s fantastical assumptions of mars, showing massive stone aqueducts and lizard men in strange costumes, is framed within the context of an old book.
Tahan: Oh, yeah, that sounds familiar. Didn’t they think they saw canals up there or something?
Sami: Yeah, hah... they kept fighting over who got to name the canals after themselves.

 

Hover text: Experts agree, alien life will look stupid.